In Tahiti, camels to ease traffic flow!

“Tahiti takes an unexpected approach to smooth traffic flow: camels take the wheel!”
By TiTi Tahitian Times, April 1, 2024

Tahiti, the South Pacific island paradise, is famous for its white sand beaches, crystal-clear waters, and breathtaking sunsets. But there's one problem that spoils the idyllic picture: traffic. Traffic jams are commonplace, and locals often find themselves stuck in endless lines.

Camels, obvious to everyone

However, the authorities of Tahiti have recently announced a revolutionary solution to solve this problem: camels. Yes, you read that right! Hundreds of camels have been imported to the island to help ease traffic flow and reduce reliance on cars. "They will start circulating in the coming days," the Minister of Transport and Innovative Solutions told a stunned audience of journalists. Proud as Artaban, snugly nestled between the two humps of "Kokoro of the Desert," a superb 2-year-old male camel who clearly seemed very happy to be there, the minister indulged in a photo op that everyone will surely remember.

A bold and unique initiative in the world

The authorities' bold plan is to encourage Tahitian residents to trade their cars for camels. Here's how it works:

• Camel Driving License: Tahitians can now obtain their special camel driving license. Courses include lessons on how to ride, steer, and rein in these majestic animals. Practical tests include maneuvers around coconut trees and slalom between palm trees.

• Camel Rentals: Camel rental stations have been set up throughout the island. Locals can rent a camel for their daily travel. The camels are equipped with comfortable saddles and cup holders for fresh coconuts.

• Special Camel Lanes: Separate lanes have been created for camels. They are lined with palm trees and offer breathtaking views of the ocean. The camels will scrupulously respect the traffic rules, and police officers on camels will ensure that everything goes smoothly. Breathalyzers specially designed for camels have been urgently deployed. These are ice-cold cans of Hinano. The police will brandish the drink in front of the camel's eyes. If the camel so much as smiles, squints, and sticks out its tongue, it will be immediately taken off the road and taken to a drunk tank, with the added bonus of being banned from returning to the road for three months. On this point, the authorities, aware of these camelids' fondness for local beers, have emphasized that they will apply a zero-tolerance policy.

• Carpooling Camels: To encourage carpooling, camels will be able to carry multiple passengers at a time. Imagine yourself sitting on a camel's back, chatting with your neighbors while admiring the turquoise lagoon! To achieve this, camel-pooling areas will be quickly set up. They will be equipped with dispensers of energizing camel kibble.

• Eco-friendly camels: Unlike cars, camels do not produce polluting emissions. They are also more resistant to heat and can travel long distances without the need for fuel. Moreover, with climate change and the 103 degrees Celsius predicted by climate experts, IPCC In the shade of the mango trees for the next month of May, cars risk overheating while the camels will be at their best. "We had to anticipate," added the local authorities.

Ultimately

The locals of Tahiti have enthusiastically embraced this initiative. “It's so much more relaxing to travel on camelback,” says Manu, a local surfer. “And besides, camels are great travel companions!” Hinanui raves, “I already love these animals. And what a language…!”

Of course, there are some adjustments to be made to avoid future camel traffic jams, but locals seem happy with this new reality. And for those who still prefer cars, don't worry: the authorities have promised to maintain some roads for motorized vehicles, now pulled... by camels.
In short, Tahiti is becoming the first place in the world where camels rule the road. So, the next time you visit this paradise island, don't forget to say hello to a camel as you pass by!