Icebergs soon in Polynesia!

An unexpected solution to try to reduce the risk of cyclones

The Polynesian government recently surprised the whole world by revealing a plan original and somewhat surprising : to tow icebergs from Antarctica to cool the tropical waters of the Pacific and thus reduce the risk of cyclones. Yes, you read that right, the majestic icebergs that we usually come across further south are about to invite yourself into our lagoonsThis project, modestly named “Operation Igloo Paradise" has of course aroused justified scientific questions. So let's try to Decrypt this bold initiative so much absurd what it becomes bright…or not.

A striking idea from a fiery mind

It all started during a government meeting where officials, tired of being constantly on alert for cyclones, decided it was time to "strike hard." Inspired by the freshness of the ice cream in his dessert and especially by a piña colada well-balanced, one of them would have launched the idea: "What if we brought the freshness of the South Pole directly to our homes?" A statement which, according to internal sources, aurait cooled the audience and caused incredulous laughter... Moreover, one of the participants even said this very apt phrase: “But what are you telling us? come out Bé ?” Obviously, this is not Raymond DEVOS, I agree, but it still had the merit of break the ice and thaw out the atmosphere.

Logistics: a reverse Titanic

To transport these ice giants, the government plans to mobilize an impressive fleet of boats specially equipped with ultra-resistant ice picks. In fact, these new type of picks will be manufactured in hardened banana leaves, using a revolutionary method about which we still don't know much... “And we must also respect Antarctic wildlife", underlines an environmentalist member of the project, adding that they will offer return tickets to any penguin that accidentally ends up on a departing iceberg. The latter, the icebergs not the penguins, once attached, will begin a slow crossing of the ocean. The objective? Moor these icy giants off the heavenly beaches and transform Polynesia into a kind of air-conditioned seaside resort. Really, I can't wait to see that from the Vaiava beach !

Goodbye cyclones

According to the self-proclaimed experts of the government, the presence of icebergs in tropical waters would have the effect of reduce ocean temperatures and, by extension, of defuse the conditions conducive to the formation of cyclones. “It’s like put an ice cube in a glass of hot water,” explains an enthusiastic advisor, perhaps forgetting that the ocean is not exactly a Mojito. Besides, this is not the opinion of Jean Givral of theInternational Institute of Glaciology : “That’s ridiculous! The guy who invented that is certainly not the penguin who glides the furthest on the ice floe,” he exclaimed, adding a ice cube in its Mai Thai. And he added: “I love this kind of individual, but I don’t advise anyone to breed them.”

Major brands already in dire straits

The project faces technical challenges

In any case, the The local government spokesman himself acknowledges: "It's not yet in the pocket... of ice," as proud as Artaban to be able to use humor with a dexterity that only he recognizes. Indeed, the plan provides for towing icebergs from Antarctica to the warm waters of French Polynesia. A journey of approximately 10 000 kilometers who already does sweat the logisticians in charge of the project. " We have calculated that an average-sized iceberg would melt completely fine before reaching Tahiti,” explains one naval engineer here requested anonymity to "preserve what remains of him professional credibility." "But the government remains optimistic. They talk about “acceptable losses”, as if we transport of ice “vanilla flavor.”

Frozen lagoons, frozen tourists

A budget that gives you chills

The estimated cost of the project " Igloo Paradise » also makes people cringe. With an initial budget of several billion Pacific francs, some taxpayers wonder if there would not be more urgent priorities. "For that price, we could distribute giant fans to all residents to collectively create a refreshing breeze." But theThe government, however, assures that the project will be self-financing thanks to additional initiatives. Because it is planned to implement the sale of meltwater from thousand-year-old icebergs in luxury bottles andorganize weddings "on a floating iceberg" for couples looking for originality. Nevertheless, we must hope that ceremonies, however unique they may be, do not end up throw a cold in couples.

Ultimately

As the project enters its phase of concrete planning, the whole world is watching with a mixture offun and perplexity This initiative is, to say the least, divisive. If it succeeds, French Polynesia could well become the first icy tropical paradise of the planet. A contradiction in terms that perfectly sum up theabsurdity of this plan. But ewaiting to see if these icebergs will one day reach the Polynesian lagoons, one thing is certain: facing the Global warming, some keep the cool head…maybe a little too much.